Yep, I typed those words. The past year and six months has been hell for me and dd. November 2015 started the separation process and my descent into a dark nightmare hole that I didn’t ever think I would go in. Someone once told me that divorce is like death. I kinda agree. I was married for 14 years and didn’t think I’d ever go thru this. I don’t believe in divorce except in extreme cases.
During the past year, I’ve given up driving the awesome pink cab because I just couldn’t afford the lease and gas for it plus rent and bills. I was spending bill money on the lease or gas and it was leaving me short every month – to the point I couldn’t pay rent. Not good.
I started going to food pantries as a way to provide food for us. No, it’s not always name brands or the type we always got and enjoy, but, it kept us from starving. I have to say, when I get back on my feet, I will start donating to the food pantries and will include female products and hygiene for both male and female and oh yes, pet food. Going to the food pantries was something I had never done. I had friends who had gone and spoke highly of them, but, we had made enough money – just wasn’t always spent smartly – so we had never had to go. I cried when I first went. I thought it meant I was a failure. I failed my daughter. I couldn’t provide for her. I was crushed as a parent and human being. Then, I heard someone say ‘I had to swallow my pride or we would have starved’ – I dried my tears and smiled at the ladies when they handed me the bags full of food. Sometimes they tossed in fruit. (LOVE fruit) sometimes they tossed in vegetables – FRESH!! sometimes they even tossed in sweet stuff…who doesn’t like sweets!?!? I realized that they are there for a reason. To help people who are down on their luck and once the bills are paid don’t have money for food. They are a blessing to so many of us.
I have heard some people abuse them. I guess that’s a chance that happens with anything free, unfortunately. But for me, they are a blessing. At least my dd isn’t starving.