So, I’ve always felt other people’s pain and anguish. I feel drained after being around certain people. I just put it off to…just the way things are. Just me being weird. And I never admitted or discussed it with anyone. Until recently. I’ve been separated for a year. And in that year I have changed. Or maybe I haven’t.
My daughter first noticed she was an empath in middle school. When she discussed it with me, I did what I always do, just pushed it off and told her not to tell anyone. Most people can’t understand those who are different – society frowns on people that are different. Anything different should be shunned or put into a padded room.
In the past year, I’ve noticed that I am way more emotional and things don’t just bounce off me. I feel pain and anguish more. I started crying in a restaurant after reading about one of my favorite cats at a sanctuary dying – my daughter threatened to take my phone from me in restaurants.
But, shouldn’t we all feel pain and anguish when something tragic happens? If we are all normal (what is normal??), well adjusted humans (who decides if we are?), shouldn’t being an empath be a part of all of us? Or are some people more sensitive to the universe? Why is it only some of us? Or are there more of us but like me, none want to admit it? None want to wear that title?
I’ve always thought I was just weird for wanting my own space. Craving quiet time – time alone. I didn’t just crave it though. I damn near begged for it – I’d send my daughter to Grandma for the weekend just to get me time. And my ex never understood how I could say I wasn’t alone when he was in the garage – he wasn’t in the same room with me but I would still claim that I wasn’t alone – I wasn’t having me time. I even asked him to move out of our bedroom and make the third bedroom his – he refused. Now I know that it was a logical request and I won’t live with anyone unless we have separate rooms. No, I don’t think that would have saved my marriage, but, it woulda helped my sanity.
I’m at the stage in my life where I need to find myself again. I need to accept who I am and what makes me tick – even if I’m considered weird by society – I don’t care anymore. They aren’t living my life and they are definitely not in my head. They don’t feel the pain I do when I read/watch the news. They don’t cringe like I do when I see pictures of hurt animals or children. They don’t feel like I do.
What about you? Are you an empath? Or do you think those that claim to be are just nuts? If you are, how do you handle living with someone? Do you also crave alone time?
If you aren’t but live with one, how do you handle that side?